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Howdy Folks!
Did I ever tell you the one about, well, me, myself, & I in how I experience & see it all in all I see & experience? No, yes, who knows & does it matter? No, but here’s the skinny. We all have tales to tell, some big & some small, some mighty & some dainty, but all, most certainly a delight & quaintly apropos.
In my family, specifically, my Great Aunt Ann, who inspired Getting Lost with Randy, was quite the storyteller & could spin some amazing life yarns, knitting the most amazing, Of Love Of Life, quilts to Barns & Nobel. For she lived a life full-sized, spirited, seemingly just happy to be alive at all.
Though, as with hers, too with mine, the seemingly far-fetched, but, true stories, as truth stranger than fiction, were told with fondness & love. We had to set aside some time cause each true tale told held our attention as the rigmarole anecdotes gently caressed our aching curiosity about her life & our family’s past. More than that, she, & as she appeared to me, we, told our antidotes with emersed passion.
She was a Jedi Master storyteller, who I believe, sparked this passion for sharing my life-stories with loved ones as a, her, Padawan. Not only that of verbal lullaby stories flowed, but too, musically & through written word, I love. We were worlds apart in our approaches, though our desire to use The Force to relive memorable experiences, looking into the eyes of those we care about, far better than any Dark Side Bogan greedy messages being subliminally transmitted over invisible influential waves coming through on your television.
I’ve always wondered why people would rather watch actors & actresses pretending to be other people, living fictional lives, than live their own, being their own reality. Get out & live life full of vigor & spice, even if it’s just sitting in front of a fire reading a book or sipping coffee in the early morning gallantry, love what you do, do what you love & do it with your own unique style & passionate flare.
I came to realize quickly that it’s because most people are boringly mundane, shallow, tired & old even if young in age, too focused on the image portrayed than the quality of the reality. The generalized others are so complimentary in their willingness to compromise their own self. Putting themselves high upon a shelf in their allowance of their inner child’s natural awe, wonder & curiosity to learn & grow & share & love & be themselves to be forgotten.
‘Be who you are & say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter & those that matter don’t mind’ – Bernard Baruch
I’ve found as I’ve fermented, that most folks these days are too wrapped up in doing what they’ve been told, so much so, that they have no life of their own. They’ve been mass consumed by the multimedia hype, the overtly ridiculous fakery that’s been sold to them as important, they haven’t lived at all. Too busy living a life making excuses rather than never excusing their life to be lived.
Observers in bystanders, sideliners, fans, patrons, butt of the jokes really without realizing they’re the ones the comedians are talking about, laughing at themselves without even realizing it. Oblivious to the fact that they’re paying for admission to be made fun of & actually believing that they were laughing at those other idiots, when they, the idiot themselves.
The generalized herded populations of nonsensical irrelevance actually believing they’re special, prance around lifelessly living out subliminal mass consumptive American Dreams. Simply, they’re not, their lips move, but I have no idea what they’re saying, doing, or, meaning, nor do I care to know, that’s their show.
Lives filled with pop culture, gossip, lies, status quo, social medias, the list endless, all trying to escape the pain that is known to them as their life. Sad, but, true. Reality bites, though only if you let it.
My version’s very, very different in the visions I see, reading between the lines, listening, observing, attuned, present in my own realized reality. Leave me be, as I leave you, alone, to each their own.
See, life didn’t happen to me, I happened to life. I’ve done what I’ve wanted, always. I’ve lived my life for me, always. I’ve realized that this is my one & only shot at living this very randomly specific life, though only to me, for I can never know another’s reality.
So, I got busy living, doing, seeking, finding, discovering, taking action, searching, uncovering, wandering in innocence, awe & wonder, a grown-up child marauder raiding against the system, I Rage Against The Machine that was trying to mold me, sold me, ordering me to be what they wanted of me, a puppet, a pawn, a blind patriotic pledger of allegiance to a brand, a Cult of Personality, void of the true Living Colour.
My Great Aunt was a true Mentor, not someone who couldn’t do like a typical teacher who attempts to live, but fails, & tries to feel better by providing systematized knowledge, but rather, taught by actually living & then sharing her stories of life with me & everybody. Not by authoritative direction, quiz’s & testing, told & directed by others as truth to be valued, but rather as a liver of life, an experiencer, an inspiration, an actual life participator, providing actualized life-skills, lessons & moments actualized in real life. A doer, an explorer, a traveler on a NeverEnding Story of life quests.
Young at heart, happy, only social enough to scratch the itch just enough to satisfy the human social condition we’re all biologically designed to crave, though mostly she kept to herself. She was always, all right, it was the world that was, all wrong. I always got her unspoken by example messages & songs. I observed her elixir-like ways as she became a part of me, & like everything I’ve ever read & experienced, I expressed these new adopted adaptations in my own way.
She grabbed life until death grabbed her away.
It’s all been said & done before the only differences is the entity at the core intertwining a new tapestry.
So, what can I say, I’m here too, to do it, living similarly like her, just in my own unique way. We all borrow all of who we are, it’s all been said, done, thought, seen & experienced before, everything repeats. After all, we do spiral round in orbit around a Star we call, Sun. Grounded by an invisible force to a sphere we call Earth that spins round & round & round, again & again & again.
She never had biological children of her own, in this too, I do own. So she adopted me & my Sissy, who happily accepted the role. I’ve been adopted my whole life; thus, I’ve adopted & adapted my whole life, always a stranger in this strange life-land. I was born of love, given away in love, chosen & accepted in love, as I now, choose to pay all the love showered upon me to the children of tomorrow.
So let it be written, so let it be done, I am the first born chosen one.
Of course, I’d love to share in the celebration of life with another, soulmate, kindred spirit, if you will, it’s just I haven’t met my equal & I never, ever, settle for less just to have someone around. I require someone of solid mind, body & spirit who is sound, independent, confident, get my drift, can you hear it, do you feel it, if you want it, come & get it.
I have standards in lifestyle that I find most never discover, let alone navigate the unfamiliar watered course of the living independently, trusting in the truth of their own self. To most, it’s not even a vague curiosity, too wrapped up in doing as, & what, they’re told, bought & sold on what to do, see, be & believe to be right for them. If they say it, if it says it, it must be true!
Believe that, well, that will be your undo, & that will be all you see, hear & feel, all you’ll know to be true.
No, not me, I’ve never held that amassed herded mentality in point of view. I’ve developed myself, worked hard on myself, trained & spent time on myself. After all, why would I ever lessen my quality lived on another’s wasting of their time looking to outsiders for acceptance, when all they’ve ever needed was held within.
When others I knew were spending time on trying to make others happy, I was already happy, so, I didn’t care to even try & understand, nor care to make another in generalized other happy with what I thought, what I did, or who I was.
I never got why anyone else would worry themselves with another’s opinion of them. Like another’s arrogance & entitlement somehow made them more qualified to direct, dictate & control another’s life, especially when those attempting to direct, had lives in utter disarray, chaos, drama & unhappiness.
When I was asked, ‘What’s wrong with you?!’ Due to my not being an apathetic, willing participant & would fight back, being labeled a trouble maker, rebel, outsider. I’d simply say, ‘What’s wrong with you, trying to dictate your oppressive ways upon me, I’m all right, don’t worry about me, worry about yourself, you’re your own hot mess, who, to me, is all wrong!’ Then, depending on the mood I was in, I might add, ‘So, get out of my way, I’ve got lots of living to do today, lots to do, lots to see, lots to say’.
Hum, maybe they were lonely & were trying to recruit some company to share with & in them, their misery. Though, like I said, I’ve always been happy, like my Aunt, I had no time for them, other than a superficial politeness that over time, has dwindled, burnt out & run its course. I’m over the follies of man.
So, until I find, discover, run into by happenchance another of equal attention to their own life detail, I’m happy living a life of solitude. Less is always more, most people are exhausting & a bore. Now, looking down toward the ground into a device, then look into my eyes, or, looking out & around, noticing, observing, looking to the skies of possibilities just waiting to be discovered & uncovered. Knowing I’m the yet, best company found that I prefer to keep, why would I waste my time on sheep, lambs to the slaughter, leading themselves as they weep, poor me, come on god, save me! Yeah, that’s a whole other kind of insanity at its finest.
I don’t even notice, nor, pay attention to the sheep. Just generalized others, mass consuming bakers dozens, cloned drones, shallow, void of vibrant personality. I care not for sheep, save to shave their wooly fur coat for clothes, making a Technicolor Dreamcoat, sheep coat, of my own to protect me & when hungry, to eat. A literal wolf in sheep’s clothing, a huntsman’s guise. Hum, ponder that awhile if able cause your mind might already be infected by the steeple & other sheep herded into the false idol worship stable.
Though, now a days, we’ve made sick & diseased the land, the animals, the food we eat, as well as ourselves. Science, a byproduct of war, has become the new world order god wielding poisons to its populations of test humans as test subjects without care or concern, it’s plausible deniability for sure, creating the disease, then creating the cure. Then deny, deny, deny the truth behind the serum.
Family to me has always been those who chose me, to see me & just accept me for me, all that I am, for those are who I call family & those, I chose to be around. Being adopted at 2 days old, I was given a chance created from love, given up by love, chosen by love. So, love is how I started, love, is all I know.
I may seem harsh as I berate most I’ve met & I’m all right with that, as I observe the world around me & I have to say, I’m not harsh, I’m an honest man in a world built on lies so I’ve never fit in because I tell the truth as I see & experience it. I have no tolerance for excuse makers, those of apathy, those who enable sickness & disease, those who perpetuate the follies of man. A Godzilla if you will, born to stand out in pointing out the follies of man in a world of carbon copied drones cloned to be assimilated to the mediocrity of similarity, Godzilla!
While others were busy aspiring, planning, dreaming, hoping, wishing, buying into the propagandized forced thought in mind control, I went out & did the things in interests of passions that called my heart. I made stories by actually pursuing life, actualizing my dreams full of desires to then share with any & all who care enough about me & my adventures to lend an ear.
Yes, I’m a satirical societal critic, a skeptic, a cynical Modern Day Cowboy gangster. A Renaissance Man, a Polymath, a pursuer of knowledge, skills & experiences, natural & learned talents along the way. I’d rather read a book, sit outside, hike, camp, climb a mountain or ride my motorcycle than watch TV or tweet or chat or look at my dumb phone or gossip or tolerate the poor me, dramatic & messy. I’d rather cook for myself then pay someone to cook for me. I’d rather go hungry than eat fast, processed, food, not just in body, but, too food for my mind in thoughts & heart.
I pay attention to paying attention. I’m particular, clean, organized, structured, though only in my practices. I’m confident only because I’ve taken the time to make the time to spend my time on quality, depth of character, true of personality. I never compromise, I’ll only allow those in who compliment, those of similarities more than opposites.
Opposites only attract idiots & fools who rush in to get in to fit in, for it’s the similarities that sustain.
I find most people exhausting over the long haul. At first, best appearances for appearances sake shines as so many desperately just trying to make some friends. Though all too soon, the truth in who they really are appears, that’s when their ugly head rears its true self, reveled, for its too hard to be concealed when defenses down & behold, the clown.
Honestly, I don’t care about you, so don’t care about me, though if interested, just be yourself with me in a shared menagerie as we weave our tapestry. Who knows, maybe on my Getting Lost with Randy’s travels, we’ll meet & a dye will be cast allowing for an equal friendship built to last & last & last; or not.
I’ve never been lonely cause I’m my own best friend. I’ve never been without love cause I love myself. I’ve never been unhappy cause happy is all I care to know. I won’t choose to unsee cause I’ve seen. I never stagnate cause I move on once I’ve outgrown. I never choose drama cause I believe in karma. I am the company I keep cause I choose great companions.
Yep, I toot my own horn, for if not me, then who, like Horton, I hear a, who? It’s me, that’s who, like The Who, who are you?! I made me, like AC/DC, Who Made Who?! Who made you?!
Self-taught in all I’ve ever done, I sought & I found, I imagined & I became, I actualized cause I dared to be different in walking my talk, hunting for my lost pack of kindred spirited hearts & minds, never settling for less, never accepting second best.
All the while, humble, realizing my limits, stepping close to the edge always, looking to the abyss, contemplating the precipice, respecting my mortality if I choose to step off, sycophantic, I push to the edge & suppliantly walk away to live & celebrate another day.
We are our choices. If you’re unhappy, make different choices. Why wait, why hesitate, why speculate, why procrastinate. I’ve found that people are more afraid of doing what makes them happy, than living in misery. It seems to me that the miserable are easily accessible cause there are so many, so very many, who absolutely need the company, & my readers, we are the company we keep. So, how’s your own company.
One’s celebrated body another’s prison. One’s dream another’s fear. One’s happiness another’s misery.
We don’t know before we know, & even then, we still don’t know. Though I can certainly tell you some great stories about what know & most certainly, what I don’t know.
See, if you get what I’m trying to convey, in a language only a select sum can fully understand, well then, let us come together so we can be as close as we can.
I don’t care how I’ll go, I only care that I’m here, right here, right now. See, I know, my show is more than half over & that’s all right by me, cause ironically, as soon as I was born, I was dying; so, say we all! Most just too afraid, swaddled in denial, of this most certain, curtain, call.
I track my prey who’s hunting me, the true hunter in Apex Predator, taking out the top dog who thinks he’s running the show. I don’t care what’s next, or, even if there’s a next at all, my time is now, so, I pounce, then lick my paw, then roar from deep down within, my fierce Lion’s Roar! To my gentle cat’s meow.
Right here, right now, I don’t care how I’ll go, I only care that I’m here, here at all, right here, right now. Question is, what am I doing with all the now’s. I can honestly say, I didn’t fuck around! I kissed & respected the earth between my toes, my feet firmly planted, one with the ground, always respectful of the karmic, vibratory sound in subtle hum as I beat to my own drum.
The children have all lost their minds, controlled by the great technological fool rule. Built by the hands of man’s insanity cries to the skies, White men dressed in wigs & ties, stupid little broken little boys all grown up with distorted altered states from wanting to seduce their mother’s attention, they’ve forgone intelligence retention.
It all boils down to what lies between parted lips of parted legs & broken egos thought super, kings & queens are not royalty if we don’t allow them to be. The world doesn’t belong to any one, not any body, we’ve made monetary all that of nature is free.
I am nature made & still a slave because of my historical man gone mad from veins running gold & green, lost in the vain. Slain by his own creation’s consumption. What war was really won, over before it ever begun, but, so many slaughtered in a man’s name game for riches & fame.
Who’s to blame?! All the, ‘he’s’ that became a household name because they could & did, or us fools who gave him life to control our hearts & minds. Who’s really to blame.
I say we are, we let it happen by agreeing to it, going along with it, just throwing up our hands in a big huff & puff, stating every excuse known to man for why enabled apathy should continue to reign supreme.
God, king & country, are you fucking kidding me! We haven’t progressed, we’ve regressed, for even our earliest ancestors understood more than we can ever hope for today.
This is why, on this day, like all others before, I rest gazing into a picturesque scene of what once was, untouched by man’s hand, still wild, still natural, a time forgotten, but, still around, seemingly silent, until we buried in its own ground.
My ramblings are maddening, it’s true, if you care to hear the lessons I laid before you. Honestly, doesn’t really matter to me, I don’t write for you, I’ve always written for me, to release the pressures of man’s created insanities which have never made any sense to me & those that I can never unsee.
A stranger in a strange land I’ve always been, knowing, I’ll always be only one unto me. So, if you dare, read my mind, feel my heart, be introduced to a different sort of kind, taking some moments to appreciate the setting most don’t make the time anymore to actually see.
Well then, maybe, just maybe, I’ll allow you to spend some of my precious time with me. Hum, arrogance or confidence or arrogantly confident. Does it really matter, after all, this body, my life, just another human created housing of industry to rent.
Think about it!
Peace & Love, until next time, au revoir…
